Yahweh Yireh. Jehovah Jireh. God who provides.

We are studying the names of God in our current sermon series at church. My heart always trembles a bit when I read Genesis 22. Every church kid has heard the story growing up: Abraham took Isaac up to the altar and God provided a lamb. It was about 20 years ago that I really began to grasp the depth and heart of this story as I read a devotion and poem by Beth Moore in her book, Whispers of Hope. Her poem, “Trust Me With Your Isaac” gave me context and words to a situation with which I was wrestling. I wanted to skip this story in the Bible. If I didn’t read it, then I didn’t have to consider that the Lord was asking me to lay what I held dear on the altar. What if he didn’t restore my “Isaac” to me? What if it hurt too much? What if what I dreamed of wasn’t what the Lord wanted for me? But, by God’s grace alone, I did. I laid what I loved most on the altar and trusted that whatever He provided would be enough.

That wasn’t the only time that the Lord brought me to my knees with that particular passage. Though this life is full of moments that require letting go and trusting, there have been a specific situations where this passage spoke directly to my heart. There have been some very clear, turning point moments where I have known that to continue to hold on to what I grasped so tightly would be disobedience. There have been moments when my heart heard the question, in that still, small voice, “Will you trust me?” Each instance has been painful, even if ultimately worth it. Each time, God has required me to release something precious–something that in itself wasn’t bad, but was, in truth, good. Yet each time, Yahweh Yireh asked me to trust him.

And each time, the Lord answered with provision. I’ve learned provision comes in many forms. It’s been six years since I experienced one of those moments for the second time. To this day, God has not yet restored to me what I laid on that altar. I still long for the restoration of that. But He has provided. He has provided everything that we need. In the longing, He has provided me with lessons on contentment, freedom, humility, and joy. And, more than anything, He has provided Himself.

Yahweh Yireh always provides. But His provision can look different than we desire or even expect. Within those six years, there was another moment where we felt we required to lay something down out of obedience. It was on a smaller scale, but it still hurt. I didn’t understand. I didn’t like it. But I knew I had to obey. In a short period of time, God restored the very thing we had surrendered, but in way far beyond what we could’ve dreamed. He provided in an incredible way that I would have missed out on, had I not surrendered.

As I sat in worship this morning, listening to my husband preach on the name Yahweh Yireh, I reflected on the situations in my life right now in which I am wrestling with trusting the Lord and his provision. There are things that are too new, too tender, too raw, too unfinished to put into public words.  I thought of the moments in the past where the Lord has faithfully provided Himself.  And how could I not?  That man reading and teaching on Jehovah Jireh this morning? He was the one I had so reluctantly and tearfully laid on that altar 20 years ago. We knew the Lord was asking us to step back and seek Him before we sought one another, and we knew we had to obey and surrender.  By God’s good grace, He returned to us what we laid down, and has provided Himself and so much more to our marriage and family, including a son we named Isaac.. He has used that which we laid down to fill our lives with love and joy, but even more to continually point us to Him.  All around me is evidence of the Lord’s wonderfull provision — even in the spaces that still ache with longings, questions, and hurts. So, I still tremble when I read Genesis 22, but these days, it’s less out of fear, and more out of expectation, reverence, and awe of Yahweh Yireh.

Jehovah Jireh.

God who provides.