I could blame my inconsistent blogging on the fact that I have three children with so much energy and so many words that sometimes I find they have drained me of my energy at the end of the day. I wonder if they siphon it out of me to get theirs! Though, I’m sure my husband would surely say I still have plenty of words – ha!
I could blame the fact that I homeschool. Yeah… I’m that mom though no matter what my sister-in-law likes to say I don’t wear long jean jumpers or make my own granola. Ok so SOMETIMES I make my own granola, but I at least prefer my denim to be a nice pair of skinny jeans.
I could also blame the fact that I don’t have a nice laptop so I can curl up by a nice crackling fire with a cup of coffee and write while music softly plays in the background, or on the deck of a beach cottage listening to the waves crash on the sand while I type. I mean isn’t that how all writers write?? Even if not, I’d sure like to try…..
There are many reasons I could conjure up to blame my lack of writing and posting recently. But the bottom line is, the problem is me.
I struggle with my priorities.
I fight fear. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of rejection.
I am undisciplined and inconsistent.
I guess the thing about blogging is I can’t do it honestly and hide my flaws. The very nature of a blog invites someone into your thoughts, reflections, and in some ways, life. It can be easier for me to just hide in the background.

So why do I do it?

The truth is that whether I blog or not isn’t going to affect much. The world will still turn. Thousands of other bloggers will blog. This blog is the tiniest of drops in an ocean of reflections, writings, and musings and various other publications from people braver, wiser, smarter etc. In fact, there are many days I question what I was even thinking when I started this. I try to ignore it, and some days I’m good at pushing it away, but I can’t deny the tugging on my heart to sit and reflect and write about these adventures of grace in mommyhood and ministry. As I reflect on this, I guess blogging is kind of metaphor for life. Ultimately, it’s not about whether or not I blog, it’s about me being disciplined enough to steward my time well (thanks, Mrs. Mount) and, honestly, to be obedient, to be bold. And that applies to many areas of life.

So here I am, returning to the scene of the crime. Knowing this is probably not the last time I will have a lapse in this public realm of blogging, just as I will continue to have lapses in my life… I pray that God will continue to speak to my heart, to pull me out of my hiding places, to show me His amazing Grace. I pray that He will continue to teach me. I pray he will equip me with wisdom to understand and courage to share as He would have me. And if you are ‘regular’ reader, I ask you to pray the same.